Become A Man Young Men Can Look Up To
The modern world has failed to offer men a strong, virtuous image of masculinity. It’s time for Catholic founders to build what they can admire.
Hey Folks, today we’ve got a bit longer post where we are actually riffing on the key ideas discussed on our recent podcast with Juan Dominguez. The man behind the Simple Man blog (now Ad Aeternum).
It was a great episode that we thought deserved more reflection.
IN TODAY’S ISSUE
News/Events: Amazing time in D.C. last week and a meetup in Houston tonight.
Feature Content: The 3 biggest Risks Modern Young Men Are Facing This Century
[read time: ~7 min | word count 1,472]
News / Updates
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There are a lot of young men out there who are very, very lonely
And desperately in need of guidance.
This has led to a concerning number of depressed men. A lot of purposelessness and a sadly high rate of suicides. In the US alone, suicide is the 2nd most common cause of death for men under the age of 45.
There are a ton of ideologies that have gained a foothold over the past couple of years that all have their roots in relativism and a selfish vision of the world.
Which we know ends up fueling this purposelessness.
We talked about the #1 reason why men are turning their backs on God, and the 3 biggest risks modern men are facing in this century
Most Catholic men get far away from the Church because they experience some sort of hypocrisy in its local leaders.
We know that this is a misunderstanding. The goal is not to get closer to the people in the Church. The goal is always to grow closer to God, with the Church as the medium He left for us to do so.
BUT… for the people who are having their first encounters, WE are the Gospel.
The people in the Church are the Gospel.
So any signs of immorality are enough for young men to sign off.
He was not talking about claims against the Pope or the Church leaders, but the people around them who were in charge of their own Catholic formation.
In his own words:
“I’ve gotten into many conversations with atheist friends, and almost always the reason why they don’t want to go near the Church is that they saw some form of hypocrisy in the people who claim to be Catholic.
They’ll say something like, ‘I used to go to prayer groups and rosary groups, and I just saw that people leading them weren’t really good people. So I don’t want to have anything to do with them’”
This is one of the reasons why we as Catholic Founders, have a deep responsibility
Christ commands the apostles to be the light of the world and the salt of the world. He tells them explicitly, “A city on a hill cannot be hidden.” We are meant to be out there reflecting the light of Christ.
Not in a prideful way.
That’s the constant spiritual battle: not falling for the enemy’s lies and glorifying ourselves, but always pointing to Christ.
We are commanded to be out there.
In Juan’s own words:
“We have failed in presenting men with a strong, masculine image of what it means to be a devout Catholic.
If the average Catholic man were more masculine, disciplined, and strong in his virtues, I think more lost young men might be drawn to the faith. If the Church presented a more masculine alternative to the searching, disillusioned guy, he might actually be more open to trying the faith.
The problem is that, from what I have seen in myself and in many others, people do not see that in the Church. They do not see men they can admire.”
From there, we got into the 3 biggest threats driving modern young men toward hopelessness and purposelessness
And what can we do about it as Catholic Founders:
1. Negative figures are capitalizing on the attention of broken men
A young man who grew up without a father doesn’t know what a man looks like.
And what they find on the internet is very attractive, tbh. Loud, muscular, money, status, and a compelling “follow me” message.
Young men are drawn to figures like Andrew Tate because they are broken.
But we don’t think that draw is about how attractive they are, but more related to the burden they are carrying. Product of a fatherless wound and a culture that spent decades telling them masculinity was the problem.
“What they find are messages that are very selfish in nature. Messages that tell them they are entitled to that reaction, without the necessary balance that our faith provides. Without the balance of: even then, we are loved. Even then, we need to take an approach that is Christlike. Even then, we are not to cause unjust violence.”
A young man feels the fire of wanting to become something good.
But if the only example they have out there is toxic and selfish, that fire gets corrupted.
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2. AI numbs our desire for relationships
This is where many people cross a line.
“In things that are relational, you cannot ask it for relationship advice. You cannot ask it for spiritual advice. It’s not qualified, because it’s not a thinking, living thing with a soul.
Where most people fail is that they end up chatting with AI as if it were a friend. As if it could give them advice. As if it knew them. If you’re using it as a tool, like Google, you’re probably safe. When you start crossing that line and developing a relationship with it, that becomes problematic.”
A man with no real community, no close friends, no one to bring his struggles to — who then finds something responsive and non-judgmental in an AI chatbot — is in a dangerous place.
It is a false substitute for what only another human being, and ultimately God, can give him.
Even the Pope recently warned us about this threat in the most recent Encyclical:
3. Young men experiencing layoffs
A man who built his identity around his job, who has no eternal perspective, who hasn’t developed his interior life or real skills that belong to him, will have very few resources if that job disappears.
“For the men who have not strengthened themselves in virtue, who do not always keep eternity in mind, and who do not rationally know that this life is not the end, it will be very difficult to climb out of the hole they find themselves in. As time goes on, it will become harder to find jobs, harder to make professional progress.
The realistic side of me says we will end up with more depressed men, more lonely men, more suicides, and more purposelessness.”
My hopeful side says something different.
I think men who can’t find their footing professionally might turn to the priesthood.
Maybe God uses this disruption to produce more vocations than we’ve seen in decades. I don’t know. Maybe I’m the only one who believes this.
But here is what I’m confident of for the men who are building now.
Human skills are becoming scarce. The man who can think rigorously, reason clearly, lead people, create things that are genuinely his, and build real relationships will be more valuable as AI becomes more capable.
So what do we actually do with all of this?
Juan’s answer was the same one I keep coming back to: become the man that other men can look up to. In every way. Virtuous men who build businesses, build families, build cathedrals. Men who are actually out there and actually visible.
And show ourselves that way.
Become industry leaders, opinion leaders, people young men can admire. Because if they don’t admire Catholic leaders, they will admire someone else who doesn’t carry the fire of Christ the way we do.
A priest told me something a while back that hasn’t left me.
He said we are judged primarily on how we respond to the challenges of our age. Not the challenges of past centuries. The ones right in front of us. And he said the two biggest challenges of this age are: 1. Faithfulness to Christ, and 2. Purity.
But he also told me: God did not put you in this time in history by accident. You have all the grace you need. Every resource, every skill, every opportunity to navigate this is at your fingertips.
Sanctity is waiting for us to accept it. Like a halo hanging from a low-hanging branch, waiting for us to recognize it and grab it.
The change has to start with us. We’ve been given the leadership role. If we act, the culture follows. If we build visibly, with virtue, with faith that is actually visible and not just private, then the men who are searching will have something to find.
That’s the fight we’re in.
And we’ve been given everything we need to win it.
Until next week, God Bless & Happy Building!
Silas Mähner
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