On Having A Vision to Strive For
A Defense Against The Plague of Aimless Action
Humans are goal-seeking machines. Whatever objective we give ourselves earnestly, we will work towards.
But here’s the problem.
Most of us never make a conscious choice of what goal to strive for. Our core beliefs are set by the age of 7. Yet, as adults, have we ever challenged these beliefs? When we don’t intentionally set these goals as adults we are operating on autopilot. We are still stuck in the Matrix.
As we grow, I believe making this choice is one of the most important things we do to become an adult. If this is true, most people in the world are not adults. Many people are living on autopilot just floating through the world.
So, this is the first part—consciously think about what we want our goal to be.
That’s really nebulous so let’s get specific.
Start At The End
The first thing is the last thing. Take a moment to consider the end of your life. As a Catholic, you know what the end of life means, so this carries even greater weight. Death, Judgement, Heaven, and Hell. These are referred to as the last four things. And they have to be the first thing we face.
After we make the conscious decision to live with this end in mind, there is the earthly consideration. What do we want our life to have looked like when we die? As we are lying on our deathbed (should we have the grace of a happy death), what will we be looking back on? I believe there are a few macro topics to consider when we do this exercise—let’s run it back.
Did we make a concerted effort to come closer to God each day? (Spiritual)
Did we treat our spouse, children, and other close family with love, patience, and gentleness? (Vocation)
Did we use the talents God gave us for good during this life, or did we waste them? (Earthly Mission)
Did we do everything in our power to help bring the people around us to the realization of God’s love? (Apostolic)
When reflecting on these things, stop, break your frame, and look at yourself in the third person as you go through life. Now, ask yourself genuinely. Am I giving this my absolute best effort? How can I improve in these areas?
This is the crux.
Most of us get comfortable in life at some point. Yes, there are challenges that arise here and there, but we get comfortable and lazy. For many, it’s once we have our career set, are married, and kids start to come along. That’s when we get a bit lazy with working out. We become lax with family prayer time. We pass opportunities to show charity to strangers. In short, we turn inward.
Yes, we go through the motions by attending mass when we should. We go to confession on a regular basis. We may even say the rosary daily. But are we really trying to become better?
A Vision For Family Life
Let’s take a moment to focus on one of these areas: family life at home. As entrepreneurs and business owners, we can easily overlook this because we focus on providing financially.
Here are the core principles we can use to aid us in this endeavor:
Discuss and agree upon a vision with our spouse.
The first step is to have the discussion. To actively dream about and visualize what we want our home to be like. Describing the type of ‘ideal day’. Coming up with the words we want to accurately describe the ideal atmosphere of our home. The types of activities we choose with our children. How frequently we attend mass throughout the week.
Get into the details. Making it clear removes all ambiguity and gives us a clear goal to strive for. A clear ruler to measure against as we conduct ourselves each day.
How many of us have even taken this first step?
Recall the vision frequently.
Once the vision is set, don’t think you can just coast. You need to have a plan for recalling it frequently. Perhaps every Saturday morning after mass, the two of you go for a walk to discuss how you did that week and recall what you’re working towards—almost like an examination of conscience.
The more frequently we set our sights on this end, the more engrained it will become.
Evolve the vision as our Faith deepens.
As we deepen in our faith, so should our vision. With new eyes to see, our vision should improve and evolve.
How many of us knew exactly how our household should look when we first got married? Some things have to change or evolve.
It’s an ongoing process.
Learn about and contemplate examples.
First of all, we should spend time contemplating the life of the Holy Family, thinking about how their home life must have been. This is an ultimate example for us. If you are not already familiar with it, get learnin’ pal!
Of course, we can also look to the family of St. Joachim and St. Anne (parents of the Bl. Virgin).
Beyond these two important families, there are several married-couple saints. There are also many saints who were married. I recently read a book by Opus Dei called Encounters, which shares the lives of some of their members. My favorite was the life of Pepe Serret, who eventually became Director General of a Nestlé subsidiary.
Finally, we can look around us. Many of the families at our own parishes should be looked up to. We can notice how they do things when we visit. We can speak to each other about how they handle certain situations or devotions they keep. Guys, I know we don’t like to ask for help, but c’mon—this is a serious matter (most of our readers are men).
These are all ways we can build the vision for our family life. But it doesn’t stop there. We need to do this same exercise in every area of our life.
Next, I challenge you to create a vision of how you will run your business as Jesus would.
I may sound like a broken record, but picking a vision to work towards is perhaps the MOST IMPORTANT thing you can do for your life. It will help you in all areas. Faith, Family, Business, and beyond. If you don’t have a clear vision, you’re just floundering like a piece of trash in the ocean. That is not the type of life we were created to live. God gave us intellect and will. Let’s put it to use.
Homework: In the comments below, share the core thing you consider on a daily basis while running your business as a Catholic.
See ya next time!
Silas Mähner
PS: who are the saints you look to for an example of a holy family life?
Asks
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